I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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