People with herpes should wear stickers.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
