You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
