Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
