That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
