You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
