I CAN MOONWALK!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
vagina is talking i cant
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
