Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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