we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize