i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize