i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
