he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize