And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
