i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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