the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
