He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
