I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize