why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
