Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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