So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
