i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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