she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
