It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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