I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
