I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Randomize
