Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Randomize
