I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
