I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize