what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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