talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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