i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
