escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize