WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize