Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I need to calm my uterus...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
