There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
