Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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