i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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