How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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