Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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