Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
