I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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