Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
