To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
