everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
