I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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