dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
