There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
