glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize