I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
