i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
then he tried to convert me to islam
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize