Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
