and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
This baby is an asshole
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
