This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize