Are we in a gay sports bar?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
