Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize