my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It's shark week go big or go home
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
