god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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