Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
someone threw a dead crab at me
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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