Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
