Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
