I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
