Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
