I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize