That's when you crack a 10am beer
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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