ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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