she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My vagina is very pro this idea
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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