brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
