We had to coat check the pizza.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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