Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
